Oh my god. I had just happened to look over where Delilah was laying on the shelf by her cage and she was laying on her side with her eyes closed and the first thing that popped in my head was,"is she dead?" What the hell!? I felt such relief when she popped her head up when I moved her cage to get a better look. Am I just doomed to think that the rest of my life? Which brings me to...in just a couple of short weeks from now will be a yr passed since the unknown end of my pregnancy with my lil girl. I can't believe its almost a yr. She should be 7 months old...eating her baby food, going for walks with her. Being loved by her big brothers. It brings tears to my eyes what they're missing out on. And hoping they could get another baby sister one day soon. I'm a little bit scared to get pregnant again. What if this happens again? What if I don't get another chance at having another daughter? That last one is so selfish but I can't help it. I know another girl is not going to be the same as having Bri. She wouldn't be a replacement in my eyes.