Days 18 and 19

Day 18: My Family Portrait
Here is a picture of Bri's big brothers and mommy and daddy.

Day 19: Project
I have been working on a memory book for Bri. It's a little one and I may have to get another one one of these days, but I love it! Here's a picture of it...

  

Day 16 and 17

Day 16: Release
I didn't participate in person in a balloon release but another loss mommy I'm friends with did a balloon release and included Brianna so here's a picture...

 
Day 17:Birthday
For Brianna's birthday we went on a picnic as a family. We brought sandwiches and I made cupcakes...homemade vanilla with homemade strawberry frosting. We lit a candle when the wind died down and just when we started singing happy birthday the wind blew out the candle. Here is a picture...

 

Days 14 and 15

Day 14: Community
I don't have pictures as of yet but the bump's loss mama's have really helped me along the way as I hope to have helped them also. Thank you so much ladies! I hope we can all meet one day...

Day 15: Wave of Light
Here are 2 pictures I took of the candle light for remembrance of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss day. 

We love you so much Brianna!!
   

Days 12 and 13

Day 13: Signs
I would like this to be a sign...that dream I had not too long ago when I woke up and my boys were very happy and excited for me to see their new baby sister and she had blonde hair and blue-ish eyes with a red flower headband and I gave her the doll I bought Brianna for a christmas present and told her it was her big sister's doll. I hope it's a sign...........

Day 12: Scents
Sometimes I'll smell coffee and think back to when I was just newly pregnant and the smell of coffee made me sick to my stomach! It still hits me every once in a while, even a year out.   

Days 10 and 11

Day 10: Symbol 

Actually I have 2, the colors of fall 

  
And butterflies:

Day 11: Supportive friends and family
The many friends I've made on the bump loss board, Nigel, my aunt Liz, my sister Kristie, and my mom.
 

Day 9: Special Place

Day 9: Here's my and Brianna's special place...

This is from my deck and I am glad our special place is so nearby :) This is where I feel closest to her, where I go to to talk to Bri.  

Day 8

Day 8: Memorial jewelry

 

Brianna

Happy Birthday sweetheart. I miss you. I wish we weren't celebrating your birthday today, I wish it was January. That would mean you would still be here with us. I made cupcakes for today. Yellow cake, strawberry frosting, and pink sprinkles. I'll put a pink candle on yours later. Your dad and brothers miss you so much too. You would have been one loved little girl with us! So spoiled too! You still are, just from afar. I hope your having a good birthday where your at. I am so surprised I didn't cry last night. I don't know what's wrong with me. I still miss and love you tons honey. Well happy 1st birthday Brianna. We love you so much!

Worst day in my life...

This day last year was the worst day in my life. It is when I learned we had lost you. It was also your aunt and uncle's wedding day. I love you more than you can ever know. I miss you so very much. Not a day goes by without me thinking about you, and ok, still cry at times. I can't believe it's already been a year. I'm going to make you some cupcakes later on and I want to save them for tomorrow. Hopefully go on a picnic with daddy and your brothers. I'll still put a candle on your cupcake. It is your first birthday after all. I love you more than words can say.

Day 6 and 7

Day 6: What not to say

Day 7:What to say or
do

Day 5: Memorial

A hankie I got as a gift with Bri's name and birthday, a snow globe  with Bri's name I bought last christmas, Brianna's resting place...her pink butterfly urn, a willow tree angel I got as a gift, a butterfly, a snow globe angel (both snow globes light up) and her hat the hospital gave her but it was still too big for her. 

I miss her so much. 

Day3 and 4

Here is Day 3: After Loss Self Portrait

Day 4: Most Treasured Item (1 of many):

 

Capture your grief

I am a day behind, I know! Here's the sunrise from my floor (4th floor) window at work for yesterday: Day1

A before pic of me for today: Day 2

Now I will try my hardest to not fall behind!

Missing you so much!

Hi sweetie! As you already know, I couldn't sleep last night. I miss you so much. Tim said quietly the day before he wishes he had a little sister. Your brothers miss you too. In 7 more days it'll be a year ago that you were born. 6 more days until the worst day of my life. I used to love the fall, all the pretty colors, but I don't like it much anymore because that's when I lost you. I love you Brianna. I love you.