Another one lost...

Well another beloved pet passed away today. Milhouse died about 2pm. We didn't even have him a year. He had pneumonia and we had just got him medicine yesterday. He was our first one and we got him in december last year. He was so cute! Like a checkerboard pattern..white, tan, dark brown with some tan in it. He made it almost a week. He loved when you rubbed under his chin, the only one that liked that! He also would lay down on me whenever I held him, again the only one that did that. He also loved to lay in one spot in his cage right by the bend on the left side of the cage closer to us. Now he gets to be with his best friend Snaptrap in guinea heaven. I miss him so much! I wish there was something more we could have done for him.

Oh my god. I had just happened to look over where Delilah was laying on the shelf by her cage and she was laying on her side with her eyes closed and the first thing that popped in my head was,"is she dead?" What the hell!? I felt such relief when she popped her head up when I moved her cage to get a better look. Am I just doomed to think that the rest of my life? Which brings me to...in just a couple of short weeks from now will be a yr passed since the unknown end of my pregnancy with my lil girl. I can't believe its almost a yr. She should be 7 months old...eating her baby food, going for walks with her. Being loved by her big brothers. It brings tears to my eyes what they're missing out on. And hoping they could get another baby sister one day soon. I'm a little bit scared to get pregnant again. What if this happens again? What if I don't get another chance at having another daughter? That last one is so selfish but I can't help it. I know another girl is not going to be the same as having Bri. She wouldn't be a replacement in my eyes.